A Cure for Wellness (2016)

Day 75 of Sobriety. 

Too long. Far too long. So, so long! There, that’s that out of the way.

A Cure for Wellness is about a young and highly ambitions corporate executive who is sent to retrieve his company’s CEO from a mysterious health facility in the Swiss Alps, where he disappeared apparently after having some kind of breakdown. Upon arriving at the facility’s remote mountain location, the young businessman finds that there is something strange and disturbing afoot.

The film was directed by Gore Verbinski, who made the 2002 US remake of The Ring, and several of the films in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Unsurprisingly, therefore, this film is a mega-budgeted affair, and it certainly looks like one. It is gorgeous to look at, particularly the spectacular depiction of the remote Swiss Alps and the elaborate gothic castle that the health facility is housed in. All of the acting is solid. Mia Goth, who plays a mysterious and disturbed young resident of the facility, is worthy of special mention. As seems to be her forte, she provides a very effective combination of prettiness and creepiness, even when her role requires her to do some rather strange and inexplicable things, like suddenly plaster herself with bright red lipstick near the end for no discernible reason.

At its heart, the film’s plot is very much in the vein of a goofy gothic “mad scientist” yarn, a similar tale might well have been told in the 50s or 60s by directors like Jess Franco, Roger Corman, or perhaps even by Hammer Films. The premise is really nothing that we haven’t seen before, but it is interesting enough. The problem is that it pretends to be so much more, and it really isn’t. And by God it’s long! Just too long. There, I said it again. There may well be an entertaining 90-minute film buried somewhere inside this grinding two-and-a-half-hour endurance test, but as it is I spent the last hour just praying for it to finally end. A real shame considering its visual beauty and the robust performances of the cast.


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